Great truths about life that adults have learned.

These are so true it almost hurts to laugh. 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing JELL-O to a tree! 2) Wrinkles dont hurt! 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Todays mighty oak is just yesterdays nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good excercise. Its like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber and not the toy.

Great truths about life that little children have learned

Thought you might get laughs out of this one: 1: No matter how hard you try you cannot baptize a cat. 2: When your mom is mad at your dad, dont let her brush your hair. 3: If your sister hits you, dont hit her back.( they always catch the second person) 4: Never ask your 3 yr old brother to hold a tomatoe. 5: You cant trust dogs to watch your food. 6: Dont sneeze when someone is cutting your hair 7: Never hold a dust buster and cat at the same time. 8: You cant hide a peice of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9: Dont wear polka dot underwear under white shorts 10: The best place to be when your sad is grandpa's lap.

UPDATE EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK

Employee Handbook If you think your employer is tough, try working here. DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress somewhere in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast. THANK YOU! Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week! THE MANAGEMENT

Live ur life n such a way that when ur feet hit the floor n the morning, Satan shudders & says, 'Oh shit shes awake!'

Sometimes you just cant help it..

There are many things i read about on the net in all my ventures. And I must say this one caught my eye. It is so amusing to find the things that children do and say and how society looks upon these...Sometimes ammazes me. I remember when I had similar thoughts of my siblings but i would not trade them for the world today. What would you have done without your siblings? ould you have been happier or better off? I dont think so when you really think about it.

This should be posted in ever childs room and school room.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. If you agree, pass it on. If you can read this - Thank a teacher! If you can read this in English Thank a soldier!!!

So deep

The only thing wrong with being mentally ill, is the price you have to pay for survival.

A little poem

Sometimes our best isn't good enough,We cant solve every problem or win every battle; And sometimes life is terribly unfair. But if we want to keep living with ourselves, we must keep on trying trying trying.

Another Christmas Here and gone.

With the trip I took I brought back some great adventures. Before we left as I told you all the semi truck radiator went out and well it took a week to get that part in. So while we were in Mccook,Nebraska it was being shipped to us here in Wyoming. It was off to nebraska after an agonizing wait to get out the door as my husband always seems to take longer than Id like him to to get on the road. He is a thinking man and has to think of it all before we can go. Granite it has saved us alot of times but GOD it drives me crazy. But thats another story. Once on the road the trip there went smooth no road problems no weather problems. It was nice and relaxing overall. Upon our arrival it was dark and time for bed But the next day was a different story. We had to rush to Walmart once to get the rest of the groceries for the dinner that was great Nana and Myself enjoyed the peace of the children being with Rick. Then when that was finished me and my husband had to return to Walmart to do almost 100 percent of our Christmas shopping (because I procrastinate and my husband works to much) When your husband hates shopping and you like to put some time into this once a year adventure trust me I would of liked to tied him into the cart and duck taped his inpatient mouth shut. But I can only dream...hes bigger than me. Once the shopping was done it was a slower race to get the wrapping and cooking done for the guest list of 25 the next day (we got there tuesday, shopped wednesday, ate thursday) Then that was it Christmas was over just like that. The rest of our time in Nebraska was spent loading the trailer and doing odd jobs for the family we miss and love so much. I should say my husband did the odd jobs because I guess hes the chosen one ...I mostly run the kids around and corral the adults. If you can imagine a clan of people that are so entirely different yet entirely the same in so many ways you could envision my Christmas vacation. The perverts and the noverts and the insanely normal all under one roof. On the last day so it seems that sir newton was correct when he stated that what goes up must come down...Because on the day we were gonna head home lo and behold the pick up truck broke down and can you imagine what was broke...RADIATOR! My husband has a sort of karma about this crap. When one breaks it all breaks. That set us back a day only to order the part form Advance Auto Parts and wait three hours in North Platte, Nebraska for there truck to get in and find out they never ordered the part in the first place. Yeah WHAT great customer service. We were lucky enough to find the radiator at another store however it would of saved alot of time if the peeps at the advanced auto part would have just said "we arent ordering your part today so dont bother counting on us" But as is life. We did however get the part in the truck in the parking lot of Carquest and get on our way. Then aside form the hihg winds and the trailer load on the back we made it home in pretty good time.

The Life and Times...

Today I started out ready to go. Meaning I was ready to pack and head for Nebraska. Then the day was gone. Yep it really felt like it happened that quick for me. I spent the whole day getting the truck ready and packing kids clothes. The kids were at aschool and the husband was at work. Just me and the baby which did not make things easier. But the chore was accomplished and in the AM we will be heading due southeast, to spend Christmas with the family we miss so much. I cant wait to get there and get settled in although I know it will seem like we just get reaquainted and will have to leave for Wyoming again. Geez what a short trip it will be. I dont know what will be worse the drive there or the drive back . The way there the kids will be anxious for there present and on the way back they will want to play with them and have to be told no because of the tight confinement of the truck. So the agony of telling them we will be there when we get there is going to be a challenge there and back as usual. Kids you got to love there inoccence and yet pull your hair out over it at times. Upon my return I will tell all of our ventures...Im sure it will be a story to remember.